Beautiful

The evening got off to a great start when the barman called me a ‘beautiful lady’, which is good going considering I am 54 and had my hair scraped back with not a scrap of make-up on. I know, he probably says that to every woman in the joint, but I lapped it up nonetheless.

I was meeting a friend who wanted some career advice and as it turns out, I was the one who left feeling inspired and much more positive about my work situation. She’s the features editor of a national publication and had some great ideas about how I could pitch some of my wellness ideas.

I was struck by the fact that this friend doubts her abilities. She is super talented, gorgeous and has enough charisma to fill an entire county. Why can’t she see it?

Ironically, she feels the same about me, so we reflected all our awesome qualities back to the other. It was just what I needed in that moment and better still, I went to a ballet class afterwards.

I mention this because my ballet teacher also has an inability to see her own brilliance. She always demonstrates the various sequences before we try them out and looks so exquisite it often takes my breath away. Last night I told her how beautiful she looked when she danced and she immediately hung her head and declared ‘Oh, I’m not as good as..’ and mentioned some ballerina I’ve never heard of.

So and so may well be a better dancer than her, but who cares? In that moment, it was my teacher who brought a little bit of beauty into our lives as we watched her dance. I know I wasn’t the only one awestruck by the way she moved. Another classmate echoed my thoughts, but still my teacher struggled to accept the compliment.

I’ve noticed that women do this a lot. Why are we like this? I know so many beautiful, talented and downright wonderful women who have no idea of their own worth and I include myself in that.

I can’t change anyone else, but I can silence my own inner critic if I choose. I’ve been trying to do this ever since I started working with Marion back in September last year and haven’t succeeded. How much longer do I want to put myself down and keep sabotaging my efforts to lead the life of my dreams?

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One comment

  1. Our lives become one big copy and paste of words in our suitcases and they own us. As long as you own them they own you. Words from the past sit on the tables before us and we dine on them never filling our stomachs. I was told by my dad I was stupid. I owned those words for a long time. Till one day I stood up from the table and walked away. I have a 165 IQ, no college, because I taught myself new words and put those on the tables before my eyes. You and your friend you wrote about. Leave you with a word,”Mara” it is an ancient Semitic/Aramaic word from your past. Means, “Lady”, visions of beauty. You have a husband and 3 children, I would say the Lady has visions of beauty. You see that everytime you look into the mirror reflections of words from the past. If it is distorted change the words to change the image.

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