I’ve started to worry that this is turning into a misery blog, but when I had coffee with one of my conscious friends this morning (conscious in a ‘spiritual’ way as opposed to not-in-a-coma) she assured me that people will identify with my despair. I do hope so.
When I decided to embark on this journey, my immediate thought was that it would be a great subject for a blog, however I hadn’t bargained on the spiritual path being so unsexy. It’s not like the movie Eat, Love, Pray with Julia Roberts – if only I could cry as delicately as her.
No, the spiritual path is murky, dark and at times, utter torture. At least that’s how it feels at the very beginning and I am hoping there is some celestial light at the end of the tunnel.
My conscious friend talks to dead people and over coffee, I told her about a solider and his horse who came into my mind’s eye during The Journey process, when I did it with my spiritual mentor Marion back in September last year.
Ever since then, I keep seeing him in my imagination stood there with this magnificent chestnut steed. He’s always some distance away, as if they are watching me. He wears a red and cream uniform with gold brocade, so he is certainly not a modern soldier.
My friend wonders if he is from the spirit world and has appeared to help me soldier on. She went onto say that opening up to the spiritual life puts me more in touch with my feminine side and maybe he is there to give me courage and keep me grounded.
Whether or not he is real doesn’t matter. He could be a metaphor that my psyche has thrown up. Either way, I do like the idea of having him by my side and just thinking about it makes me feel stronger. Perhaps he’ll give me the courage to voice my true needs and opinions, show my emotions and ask for help when I need it.
I know I am starting to sound bonkers. Yesterday I spoke about the voices in my head and today I am communing with a phantom soldier, but well, the spiritual path is all about believing in something mystical that you cannot see, hear, touch, measure or explain. At this rate, it won’t be long before I’m levitating in Lidl.