Losing time.

 

I’ve got five meetings scheduled in the diary this week and estimate that by the end of Friday, they will have eaten up 12+ hours. I am taking Friday off to visit my dad, which means I have left myself 2.5 days in which to complete five days worth of work. No wonder I feel strung out.

There is nothing spiritual about it. This is a simple case of time mismanagement. I’ve had enough. It stops here. I’ve decided that from now on, I shall never book more than two meetings per week and Mondays will forever more be a meetings free day.

If I make this promise to myself, it means I will have to say ‘no’ when I mean ‘ no.’ It is a step towards eradicating the stress that I seem intent on creating. I have to go cold turkey on stress. I imagine it is going to be uncomfortable, but there is more relaxing life to be had on the other side.

In other news, I managed to meditate for 10 minutes this morning, distractedly I must admit, but I stayed still for the allotted time. I also did 20 minutes of conscious resting. This is a creation of Marion’s. Unlike meditation, you do not have to sit-up and remain alert. It is done lying down, wrapped in a blanket and all you need to do is surrender and ask the ‘higher power’ to look after you. I’ve not seen any trumpeting angels or had any amazing revelations during conscious resting sessions, but I always open my eyes feeling relatively chilled.

Even so, I still managed to lose my rag when my youngest daughter confessed that she has lost her Zip card, AGAIN!! ‘Put it somewhere safe,’ I said. ‘I did,’ she declared. This is about the sixth time she has lost it since starting year 7 in Sept 2017. Give me strength.

This is the test. Can I really find a place of calm and stillness within me that will stop me blowing my top every time there is a minor family crisis? I am a long way off right now that’s for sure. Why is my fuse so very short? It’s certainly something to think about.

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